Reverend Ecstasy

Chapter 77: Wipe Your Tears (2)

The world that Lady Ziyun faced changed, and from a chaotic war zone morphed into an idyllic scenery where verdant nature surrounded a lustrous pond. On top of that pond, one palm-sized golden lotus bloomed. Its light swept by Ziyun’s face, making the hold Hanxing had over her…collapse. Immediately, a spell of confusion twisted her wrinkled face.

“After suppressing your cultivation base, your husband used a Soul Possession skill to take control of your mind. It might work in the outside world, but never will I allow the freedom of those that seek my aid to be compromised by heretical means. If you want to cancel the offering, you can. If you want to turn it against Hanxing, you can. Here, Zi Wenli, you are free,” The Golden Lotus said and as its words flowed out, all the events that transpired till now returned to Lady Ziyun’s soul.

For a second, the great elder stood there, reminiscing a succession of past events. Centuries had passed already, and yet the grief she thought surpassed easily rushed back to the surface. Her eyes grew moist and tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Let’s just do it the way he wants me to,” Lady Ziyun said, making the golden lotus’ petals sway imperceptibly.

“I am confused. Do you know that it was Hanxing who plotted what you suffered at the Fen Spirit clan’s hands?” The Golden Lotus asked, making Lady Ziyun tremble at the recollection of events that even Lianist enlightenment couldn’t erase. Lowering her head, the Zi great elder let her lips fall into a bitter smile. Her trembling hands clenched into a hard fist, and with rising resolve, the words rolled off her tongue.

“I’ve…long guessed that already. But back when Hanxing most needed someone to open up to, back when he most needed to rely on me I…let him down. It is a fact that I felt smitten by Qingxin. That till today, I can barely get that image of him out of my head. Had Qingxin not rejected me…what would I have done to Hanxing?

450 years ago, Hanxing abdicated the sect master seat to his little brother—Guang Fanghu’s father—not because he was better suited for the task, but merely so he could legally provide him with more cultivation resources. This shows that back then, he still had a heart. Alas, only 30 years later, during the boy’s breakthrough into Nascent Soul, the Dark Moon cult plotted his murder—almost causing the deaths of both Hanxing and Guang Fanghu as well.

Shui Jiuli of the Shui clan took a knife for Guang Fanghu, shrugged the mortal wound off, and rushed him out of the battlefield. Only then could Hanxing fight without hindrances and force his way out. But where was I? Had I been present to use the Yin-Yang Sword Array with Hanxing, none of these deaths…would have been necessary. I understand Hanxing’s loathing of me. I deserve to be loathed and loathes myself as well. If I can use my insignificant life to pay him back for all I couldn’t give him…why should I not be willing to? My choice stands. This time, I only want to do his bidding.” Lady Ziyun’s words showed no hesitation, and as if echoing her thoughts, the lotus’ petals swayed again.

“Fascinating. But do you know that Zi Yao’s father, your prodigious nephew that broke through to the Golden Core stage at 100…died because of Hanxing. Yes, he didn’t go to the Ice-Fire cave due to youthful arrogance. Hanxing convinced him to go, deceiving him with false treasures, and pledging to protect him from Blood Spirits with talismans. The defective talismans had no use, and Blood Spirits tore the boy—a rare Thunder Spiritual root—to shreds,” the Golden Lotus said, making Lady Ziyun’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“But wait, it gets worse. You see, Hanxing used the death of Zi Yao’s prodigious father to have her oppressed by her fellow Zi clansmen. Then he took her under his wing, trained her in the shadows, but pushed her towards cultivating the lightning arts suited only for a Thunder or Void Spiritual Root, all so he could restrain her potential and prevent her from becoming a threat to his power. To follow in her father’s footsteps and become the leading powerhouse that he once dreamed to be, Zi Yao accepted the challenge. The move crippled her cultivation speed. Then again, if she refused, I’m sure that she would have suffered an ‘accident’ as well.” There was a disarming calm—no, a callous candor, with which the Lotus expressed itself. Almost as if it wished to use the truth to ram through Lady Ziyun’s heart.

Her knees buckled under the load of the truth. But as she struggled to remain standing, the Golden Lotus dealt the final blow.

“As for the so-called betrayal, well, allow me to explain. Back when Hanxing and you rescued Qingxin, he had been recovering from an attack of the Eternal Night Dynasty and sustained himself through his Divine Glory. To a mortal’s senses, a God’s Divine Glory is…how to put it…enthralling. Once exposed to Divine Glory for too long, you can’t help but succumb to the awe it induces and throw yourself at the God’s feet. The higher the cultivation base, the easier it is to resist, but the you of back then had no hope to do so. It is that enthrallment, that awe, that you experienced. Had Hanxing been honest with you, you’d know that he experienced the same feelings that you did. Except that because that good husband of yours has always been a bit on the queer side, a part of him thought…that it was normal, so he didn’t dare to reveal the sensation.

It was all a big misunderstanding. You were never in love with Qingxin. From the start, for better or worse, there has always only been one man in your heart: Hanxing. That is why you can forgive him anything, accept all the abuse he inflicted upon you over the years, and still find ways to justify it. Let me venture a guess. In spite of all I’ve just told you, you will still choose Hanxing.” Without mercy, the Golden Lotus revealed the truths that neither Hanxing nor Ziyun were privy to. Then it fell silent and watched, watched every single change taking place in the great elder’s soul. The pain, the confusion, the chaos, it watched and absorbed it all—learning with rapt interest.

“No! No! No! You’re lying! Stop lying! Aaaaaargh!” Ziyun fell to dementia, attempted to pull out her hair, but her hands passed right through—touching nothing but thin air. Yet, the tears were real, as warm and moist as a seething kettle. It was almost as if in this world, the Lotus denied her the ability to harm herself, yet allowed her to feel all the pain its words brought forth.

In fact, the Lotus would have been fine with letting Ziyun harm herself. She had the right to. But with every bit of damage, her value as a sacrifice shrank. So for her sake, it removed the possibility.

“I could, but I am not. Till now you’ve lacked the information to make a free choice. I’ve given it all to you. One last time, what…do you choose?” The Golden Lotus put Ziyun against a wall, and at last she fell—clutching at the bark and stems littering the ground.

“This isn’t fair! This isn’t right! What have I done to you? Why are you doing this to me?! Dong Jie!! Dong Jie!!!” Lady Ziyun broke down, calling Hanxing by his given name and clawing at the air, as if desperately trying to get a hold of something—someone—that never stood there. “A’Jie…” The softness and tenderness with which the A’Jie rolled off Lady Ziyun’s tongue quieted her grief. Then she remembered the Lotus’ truths, and again she fell apart.

“A’…Jie.” Lady Ziyun said at last, kowtowed at the lotus, and spoke no further.

“So indeed, with all the truths at your feet and your free will restored, you’re still choosing him. How little you understand him, and how little he understands you, is almost heartbreaking. There was once a man that loved me dearly. He asked me to save his wife. I told him that his wife needed no saving and transcended my authority. Yet, he wouldn’t believe me. He’d rather believe that I deceived him than embrace the clues I left for him to find the truth. To this day, though he still spreads my name and uses it to guide the masses, the respect that he once had…has died.

I try to help you, but you won’t help yourself. I try to make you free, but you bind your hands all the same. Humanity…is heartbreaking. This choice of yours, made in spite of all the facts, has elevated your sacrifice. On top of other boons, your body will remain a puppet, and stay by Hanxing’s side…till death do you apart.” The Golden Lotus acknowledged Ziyun’s offering. The sorrow that had been pinning her down vanished, and at the gate of death, she experienced a tiny bite of Liberation.

“Your mercy…is boundless.” Satisfied, the old lady gave the lotus a smile, and though the years had long taken her beauty away, at the time of death, she dazzled like a field of blooming flowers.