I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

On the day of the broadcast.

Since early in the morning, rumors were running wild over the Internet.

"Sing! is pretty good!"

"Yeah, I was at the live recording. It was really good!"

"Well, I thought it was just so-so."

"It\'s a continuation from where The Voice left off, but there isn\'t anything new. The host has changed, and the guest coaches are different too. I can only say that it was not bad, but there isn\'t really anything surprising about it."

"I think Sing! is going to end up in a tragedy!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I Am a Singer has invited a bunch of people that none of you can imagine. I was there on the day of the recording. Everyone was totally shocked!"

"Ah?"

"Who was there?"

"Yeah, tell us quickly!"

"I\'ll just reveal one, Zhao Wuliu!"

"That\'s impossible!"

"Haha, keep bullshitting!"

"You went overboard with your bullshitting, didn\'t you?"

"Zhao Wuliu is such a godly person in the music industry, how could he have possibly joined a variety show?"

"Damn, Zhao Wuliu was really there. There was also Chen Guang and He Huan too!"

"Chen Guang? The big brother of the music industry going on a program to face off against other singers? You\'re really too imaginative! With Old Chen\'s status and ability, he\'s more suitable as a coach. He would never strip away all pretense and go into battle! You must also be dreaming to claim that He Huan was there. He\'s the Prince of Love Songs, someone who can write and sing. He\'s so popular in the music industry; do you think he\'s gone mad? To go onto the show and battle his peers? Does he even need to do that? Those who join the show are gonna be either has-beens or newcomers! That\'s why you should be careful if you want to brag. Don\'t say things that others will find unbelievable if you really want to brag."

"They\'re just making things up. I went to the recording and Huo Dongfang was there on the show!"

"Ah? Has Sect Leader Huo crossed industries?"

"Old Huo\'s singing is not bad, so there\'s a good chance that he could\'ve joined the show."

"Li Xiaoxian was also there."

"Surely not, right?"

"Didn\'t she just participate on King of Masked Singers?"

"She was really there and she sang very well!"

"Wow, that might really be true. After all, Li Xiaoxian has worked with Beijing TV before."

"Zhang Xia was part of the lineup."

"Get lost! Why would Grandma Zhang face off against a bunch of pop singers? Are you an idiot or do you think I\'m an idiot?"

"Fuck, you\'re the idiot!"

"I\'m so annoyed by these people who weren\'t even there at the recording trying to mislead people here!"

"I+++...$&%$###%…#@!!"

There was no official confirmation from Beijing Television either. Zhang Ye and the program team staff also stayed silent. Sometimes, maintaining a veil of secrecy would invite a greater fanfare. However, the 1,000 audience members who attended the live recording couldn\'t be stopped from revealing this information. Someone would definitely expose something about the show. But Zhang Ye and the program team didn\'t bother stopping them, although they stopped short of confirming anything themselves and just let everyone say what they wanted to say. As a result, the waters became even murkier!

The names of Zhang Xia, Zhao Wuliu, Chen Guang, He Huan, Xiaodong, and the others were all mentioned. Simultaneously, many other names were brought up, like Huo Dongfang, Li Xiaoxian, Sun Han, Liao Yiqi, Sun Xiaoguo, etc. Those who revealed these names even said they had attended the live recording and were seated in the first row, claiming that they had seen those artists singing onstage with their very own eyes. So things got more chaotic as the industry insiders became utterly confused by the claims made by those Weibo accounts that had jumped on the bandwagon or were just trolling for fun.

Who was there?

Just who had gone onto the show?

…

On the set at a film location.

Huo Dongfang\'s cell phone rang.

"Old Huo, good on you!"

"Ah? What?"

"Stop pretending, remember to do your best! The viewership ratings on Zhang Ye\'s show won\'t do too badly for sure."

"What are you talking about, Old Liu?"

"Didn\'t you participate in I Am a Singer?"

"What? But I didn\'t?"

"Huh?"

"I\'m filming a movie!"

…

Central TV Department 1.

Sing!\'s program team.

A summary of the news going around on Weibo had been reported back to them.

"Sect Leader Huo has joined their show?"

"That\'s OK. Huo Dongfang\'s singing skill is only average. At most he would be considered an outsider crossing industries to guest star on the show. Although he\'s very popular, he isn\'t a professional singer!"

"Hur hur, Zhang Ye has also sunk to a low."

"Yeah, he\'s also starting to use big names to attract now."

"But what use is that? Our platform of Sing! is much more professional than theirs. When the audience sees it, they\'ll know whose participants can sing better. The talents are still among the common folk. Just look at those contestants we had lined up for the first episode. Their singing is all so good that even most pro singers aren\'t a match for them. With that to compare with, so what if they have Huo Dongfang? So what if they have Sun Xiaoguo? Singing show still have to depend on singing!"

"Li Xiaoxian has joined Beijing TV\'s show again?"

"No worries. Li Xiaoxian\'s singing might be good, but she ain\'t among the best. We have Teacher Fan Wenli holding the fort for Sing!"

"But what about Zhao Wuliu?"

"And Chen Guang? He Huan?"

"Oh, come on! Those are definitely just rumors."

"Yup, I Am a Singer would never be able to invite them!"

"Hur hur, and there\'s even talk of Zhang Xia participating too. Those who believe that must have brains of mush, hahaha. Anyone with a brain knows that that\'s made up! Just hearing that list mentioned by those people which consist of Zhang Xia, Chen Guang, He Huan, Zhao Wuliu, Xue Kaiqi, and Xiaodong, you would immediately know that it\'s fake! The people on that list would constitute half of the music industry\'s big names. If they\'re really on the show, then which show wouldn\'t be swept aside? Would the others still need to continue broadcasting? That\'s why it\'s impossible!"

"Right!"

..

On that night.

It was the countdown to the broadcast.

Zhang Ye was at the studio with the television on. The staff had all gathered together here, and his parents had come as well. They made a lot of dumplings in the afternoon and insisted on making something for Zhang Ye\'s staff to show their appreciation, so they followed Zhang Ye to the office in the evening. There were two steaming pots in the open kitchen as the dumplings cooked inside the bubbling water.

"Come, come, let\'s eat!" Zhang Ye\'s mother brought out a plate of steaming hot dumplings.

His father added, "Eat up. We\'ve prepared pork and leek dumplings, as well as three delicacies 1 ones.

Ha Qiqi went over to take the plate from her. "Thank you, Auntie and Uncle."

Little Wang said, "Auntie, let me do it!"

Zhang Zuo said, "Ah, this is so delicious!"

Wu Yi said, "This makes me think of the dumplings that my mother used to make for me."

Tong Fu exaggerated, "This is so good that I\'m gonna cry!"

Zhang Ye\'s mother said, "Then have more. We still have enough to fill several more pots."

Zhang Ye ate as he said, "Hey, it\'s starting soon. Change the channel to Central TV Department 1."

"OK." Little Wang picked up the remote control right away.

But his mother stared at him. "What are you watching Central TV Department 1 for? Watch Beijing TV instead."

Zhang Ye didn\'t know whether to laugh or cry. "I have to study my competition to know how they\'re doing. I oversaw the recording of I Am a Singer and edited it as well. I\'ve already watched the first episode more than seven times!"

"But I haven\'t seen it yet!" His mother rolled her eyes.

In fact, the studio staff had not watched it either. They were on Zhang Ye\'s private team and did not take part in the production of the show, so of course they hoped to watch I Am a Singer at the first possible chance. In the end, Zhang Ye had to glumly take his plate of dumplings and head to the conference room. He sat there by himself with the television on as he ate while he watched. The rest remained outside and waited for I Am a Singer to begin. They were joined a little later by Chenchen, who had come upstairs to scrounge on the dumplings.

The broadcast began!

Zhang Ye watched Sing! and started roasting the show.

"Whoa, they even copied the logo?"

"Heh, the sound isn\'t that great! They\'re still using the same set of equipment that I was using back then? It\'s already been a year; that equipment is outdated. How can they be so thick-skinned and continue using it?"

"What\'s with the host? There\'s nothing about her that stands out."

"The first contestant doesn\'t seem like much!"

"Man! The fight between the guest coaches isn\'t intense enough!"

"Ai, childish! The director is simply too childish!"

Behind the closed doors of the conference room, he talked to himself about everything. Zhang Ye tore Sing! to pieces. In any case, this fellow didn\'t have a single good thing to say about it and despised everything he saw. But in all fairness, this show wasn\'t even badly done. It was still pretty good. Although they copied Zhang Ye\'s version of The Voice entirely, they managed to reproduce it quite faithfully to the first season of the show. All they were missing were some bright sparks of creativity.

At this time, his parents\' exclamations came from outside!

"Xiaodong!"

"It\'s Xiaodong!"

Not long after.

"Heavens!"

"Zhao Wuliu!"

"He…he really went?"

…

Central TV Department 1.

Sing!\'s program team was also dumbfounded!

"Huh?"

"What the heck is this?"

"Who can tell me what just happened?"

"They....How did they…"

"Impossible! This is impossible!"

"How on earth did Zhang Ye do it?"

"How could he possibly have invited those people!"

…

Meanwhile.

It blew up on Weibo!

"Holy fuck!"

"Quick, go and watch I Am a Singer!"

"Xiaodong really joined the show!"

"Zhao Wuliu has too!"

"Next up is Chen Guang!"

"They\'ve gone mad! These people must\'ve gone mad!"

"What those people claimed was really true!"

"My titanium dog eyes are blinded!"

"How eargasmic!"

"Listening to this made me cry!"

"The sound quality is way too good!"

"This sound quality really can\'t be reproduced by any other show!"

"The singing is so good! This lineup should account for half the music industry\'s big names, right?"

"They sang so well that I\'m finding it hard to believe this is true!"

"Sing! is gonna be screwed! Compared to I Am a Singer, don\'t the contestants on Sing! all seem like children coming out to play?"

"Ah! Zhang Xia is the final singer!"

"Fuck! She sang \'Wild Rose\' to such a godlike level!"

"An artist! This is what you fucking call an artist!"

"In the face of Grandma Zhang, even Zhang Ye\'s version of \'Wild Rose\' can\'t compare!"

"I have a feeling that I Am a Singer is going to blow up!"

"The idea behind I Am a Singer and its format are simply too good!"

"The pressure is now on Sing!"

"That might not necessarily be true. Sing! has an existing audience base, so it\'s hard to say how its viewership ratings will do."

"Based on the quality of the show, I Am a Singer has defied the Heavens! Just by getting those seven people onto the same stage, which of their competitors would not be swept away?"

"They\'re about to announce the rankings!"

"Damn! What is Zhang Ye doing!"

"This cheat!"

"Zhang Ye, fuck your grandpa!"

"I wish I could snuff him out by sitting on him!"

"Why is he still not announcing the results?"

"My God! The total time needed for the seven singers to perform only took twenty-something minutes. But your announcement of the results have used up another twenty minutes of the time, and only two singers\' spots have been announced so far?"

"Zhang Ye! You\'re dead meat!"

"Pfft, this is so funny!"

"What fastest talking host in the history of TV? He\'s should be called the most long-winded executive director in the fucking history of TV instead! Zhang Ye, do you believe I won\'t smash your home\'s windows?"

"Ahhh, this suspense is killing me!"

"Who on earth is in first place?"

"Zhang Ye! You\'ve pissed off the entire audience!"

The audience was shouting in anger and hating this. But even amid all the scolding, no one changed the channel. In fact, they were all watching with anticipation and excitement as they waited for Zhang Ye to finish his teasing. Even though they knew he was doing this on purpose, everyone still continued watching because this was the most crucial moment in the show!

When the fifth contestant of Sing! made their appearance, I Am a Singer was still on the ranking announcement segment. When Sing!\'s seventh contestant came out, I Am a Singer was still announcing the rankings. By the time Sing!\'s broadcast had ended, I Am a Singer…was still announcing the rankings!

Just think about that!

What kind of a goddamn bloody situation was this!

All of the viewers wanted to smash a brick into Zhang Ye\'s face through their television screens!

After finally making it through all the "hardship," the rankings for the first episode of I Am a Singer were finally out!

First: Zhang Xia.

Second: Chen Guang.

Third: Zhao Wuliu.

Fourth: Xiaodong.

Fifth: He Huan.

Sixth: Xue Kaiqi.

Seventh: Amy.

The tally was not shown to maintain a certain level of suspense. It would only be announced during the next episode after the knockout round took place.

1. https://www.unfamiliarchina.com/dim-sum/dumplings/seafood-dumplings/three-delicacies-potstickers-guo-tie