Taming the Queen of Beasts

AARYN 

Aaryn was in the market with Elreth, sticking to her side as promised, smoothing issues with panicking Anima, helping the elders find the people they needed, and backing Elreth when the elders pushed back on her hurried instructions.

The time had passed so quickly he wasn\'t even aware that they\'d skipped the dinner meal until someone brought them plates of food that they ate while they stood in a circle with half the elders, debating the merits of keeping the healers in the market itself, or using that room for citizens coming from the outer regions. Elreth had quietly asked him to check whether the security council were all travelling to fight, and so the building would be free.

He\'d found Tarkyn and Lhern and they\'d agreed that the building would be best used for the healers.

It wasn\'t until he\'d returned with that news to find Elreth in a hushed conference with the Women\'s Council that he had a moment to breathe.

Elreth and the other females were on the stage, and everything else seemed to be under control. So he\'d stepped out the back door to the little area they\'d used to escape the market so many times. And to his relief, no one was out there.

His breathing was tight and his body quivering. He was glad to be busy, to have tasks to focus on. But he needed a moment, and with the door open, he could see when Elreth was free again and would be looking for him.

So he turned and stared up at the stars and forced himself to breathe.

He hadn\'t been there long, though, when the heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs down from the stage and a jolt of adrenalin flooded his chest.

He didn\'t turn. He should have turned. But the truth was, he didn\'t want to see Reth coming. He didn\'t want to think about what this meant.

So he stayed there, standing profile to the stairs and the propped open door and didn\'t even speak when Reth\'s footsteps stopped on the dirt next to him.

He did turn, though, to measure the face of the man that was the closest thing he had to a father.

And then his body wanted to give, because when Reth looked down at him, a plea in his eyes, Aaryn recognized the resignation and pain in them.

It was the same way his mother had looked before he walked the Flames and Smoke with Elreth. When she\'d known she was going silent, but hadn\'t told him.

He\'d thought back on those days so many times since then, that expression—that sagging defeat—was burned into his mind.

Aaryn\'s breathing picked up as the conviction hit him: Reth knew he was going to die, and he hadn\'t told them.

"No," he said through his teeth, shaking his head. "No, Reth, you aren\'t—"

Reth\'s eyebrows rose in shock, but then he took a deep breath and didn\'t deny it. He didn\'t deny it!

"You can\'t tell El."

Aaryn wanted to bite him for not fighting. "No! No! You\'re right, I won\'t tell El, because it\'s not—"

"Let her hope. Let them all hope, Aaryn. Hope is what keeps people moving when everything else is going wrong. It\'s the only thing that keeps people moving when everything is going wrong. Without it, none of us can take another step."

"But you\'re happy to steal mine?!"

Reth looked at him sadly. "No, Aaryn. I came to talk to you male to male and… to let you hope. You\'re the one who saw it. How did you see it?"

"You look like my mother did when I saw her in the days before the Flames and Smoke. You have that same air of… defeat."

Reth dropped his head, and shook it. "That makes sense, I suppose."

"No. It doesn\'t!" Aaryn spat through his teeth. "What are you doing giving up? You just said, hope is what keeps us moving! There has to be a way, Reth—"

"No, son. I\'m sorry. Elia has to face death. And I won\'t let her do it alone—much as she will likely ask me to when it comes down to it."

"Why wouldn\'t you?!"

Then he swung up his great head and held Aaryn\'s gaze, his eyes crackling with tension, anger, and not a little grief. "Would you, Aaryn? If you knew Elreth had to face that? Would you let her walk into it alone and scared, if you had the choice?"

Aaryn sucked in a breath and turned away, because they both knew the answer. But… but this wasn\'t the same thing! This family didn\'t need Aaryn like they needed Reth!

"I knew you wouldn\'t," Reth said quietly, gripping his shoulder and shaking him. "I\'m so grateful for you, Aaryn. You\'re the only reason I can walk into this confidently. Because I know you\'ll watch over her, just like I would have. You\'re the son of my heart—and you will… you\'ll keep my baby safe," his voice cracked.

Aaryn whimpered and turned away, pacing the dirt. He couldn\'t see Reth break. Couldn\'t watch the male he\'d always admired and followed and… and loved… "This isn\'t fair."

"No, it\'s not."

"Why you? Why Elia? Like she hasn\'t done enough?"

"Trust me, that\'s a question I plan to ask the Creator when we finally meet."

Aaryn whirled. Those words, spoken so plainly, as if it were just another meeting. As if it were an old friend and Reth had a score to settle.

He was talking about the Creator. About meeting him.

Reth was going to die.

Their eyes locked and Reth just waited.

"No," Aaryn whispered "We need more time. There\'s so many things to ask… so much we need to learn—"

"No. You two have this, Aaryn. Together, you\'re enough for anything this world might throw at you. There\'s a reason this happened when I wasn\'t in power anymore. And I know it. Just remember… at the end of the day, without her, none of the rest matters. Not in the Kingdom, not in your home. If she\'s broken, you are. If she\'s well, you are. Never forget that."

Aaryn swallowed hard, but he forced himself to nod. "I… I will."

Reth walked forward and pulled him into a hug and Aaryn went, blinking and whining, unwilling because of what the embrace meant, and yet needing this male close.

"I\'m so proud of you, Aaryn. You were served the hardest task of all of us, I think," Reth murmured in his ear, squeezing him so hard Aaryn could barely breathe. "And you let it mold you into a better male, not a bitter one. I am so. Fucking. Proud."