I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

The crowd dispersed rather quickly, but I stood in the middle of all this, looking stupid. 

I was kind of alone. 

A lot was at stake here. I didn\'t know what uncle was actually here for, but I could take a guess. 

I didn\'t know my actions would have caused something like this. I never even considered all this. Maybe I really was too naïve.

I wanted Marg and that was true. But, fighting the Battlesuins was supposed to be my fight: I chose this. But I forgot that this thing involved my whole family too. 

I knew all this and even talked with mom but I never considered it\'d come to this. I never thought about it like this. My family wouldn\'t abandon me that was true. But they wouldn\'t help me excessively either, at least not unless I asked for their help explicitly. And I didn\'t want to do that, as it would create more and more problems down the line. Not to mention I had an ego to maintain. 

Sigh.

In the end, I really didn\'t know what to do. If I asked my family\'s help they\'d get too involved and things would get way too chaotic. If I didn\'t, they\'d still get involved and things probably wouldn\'t be coordinated and it\'ll still be chaos. 

\'What if I just went over to their mansion and destroyed all that?\' It was definitely feasible. I\'d have to fly to Russia for that but it was definitely doable. And that way, my family would be out of this. 

Maybe I was just being a bit too cocky about this. And I wasn\'t even in my full strength yet either. Just what was I thinking?

\'Can I actually- do that alone?\'

"What\'s with the long face?" 

The voice came from my right. I guess I might have been looking a bit too sad. "Nothing." I turned around. "What are you doing here?"

It was Selene. "Just having a late-night walk."

"It\'s not that late though."

She chuckled. "Yeah. Well, you have plenty of matches tomorrow."

That was one way to change the subject, I guess. 

"Yeah." I chuckled. "Wait, you were keeping tabs?"

"Of course! Did you forget we have a date afterward?" She grinned. 

Unfortunately, I couldn\'t forget even if I wanted to. After all, she kept reminding me every time we met. So it was kind of impossible to forget at this point. "Don\'t worry, I keep my promises. How\'re you feeling now?"

She had broken bones like me and unlike me, she probably didn\'t have fast healing capabilities. Not that this made that much of a difference though. 

"Pretty good actually. I\'m mostly healed and I think I can start climbing from next Monday!"

I actually didn\'t know what to say anymore. Was climbing really that fun? "Say, why do you like to climb so much?"

The crowd was basically gone and it was just the two of us. "I don\'t know." She started walking. 

I also started walking. "You don\'t know?"

"Well, it\'s complicated."

"And I have time."

It was more like I was bored. I didn\'t have anything to study and I couldn\'t do exercise. I could have used this time to focus on my saber, but I kind of didn\'t want to exert myself. 

So yeah, way too much time. 

She giggled. "My mother was a professional climber. She died while climbing a mountain."

Okay, maybe I shouldn\'t have asked. 

And now I felt bad. 

Too bad. 

"Sorry, to hear-"

"Don\'t be. I\'m glad she died while doing something she loved." Selene looked up in the sky. There weren\'t any stars. It was probably going to rain later on. "I\'m glad, she got to do what she wanted." It was almost as though there was a tint of sadness in her voice while also relief. She promptly smiled and slapped me on the back. "What about you? Why are you suddenly interested in fighting? I thought you hated lightsabers."

"Well, it\'s complicated." I chuckled.

"And we have time." She gave me a smug grin. 

And now I was caught in my own trap. I giggled in the irony. "I want to take responsibility and-" I stopped and smiled. "NO, I just want to impress someone and steal her away from destiny."

Selene started giggling while covering her mouth. Since it wasn\'t working, she proceeded to chuckle loudly. "Really? It\'s called destiny for a reason you know."

"Uh-huh and I\'ll change it!" I was definitely going to. 

It didn\'t matter if this concerned my family. I could have just apologized to them later on. And since uncle was here, I could just give him the heads up and all would be fine. 

There were no more doubts. I took this stance, and I was going to see it through. It didn\'t matter if I was capable or not, I was definitely going to see this through. 

I was probably going to regret this, but at this point, I didn\'t care. 

She chuckled even louder, definitely not controllable. "Yeah, I believe ya." She controlled herself after laughing for a whole minute. She actually laughed so hard, tears came out. "Well, good luck. I\'ve to head out."

"Yeah, you too."

I had no idea where we were even going. 

Selene smiled and started jogging. 

Well, that was anti-climatic. I could almost laugh, but I just settled for a grin. 

She didn\'t try to solve any of my problems and nor did she comfort me, and yet, I felt a lot better talking with her. 

And more importantly, now I had my answer. 

So with a sigh of relief, I turned around and headed for the convenience store. I had to buy food and other stuff.

***

I had to buy a lot of things. I didn\'t have much money but my list was long. Talk about a headache. 

I still searched for stuff anyway.

And even found stuff. 

But some were over budget and now I wanted to jump off a cliff to a glass of water. 

\'I can\'t even afford juice?\' Well, it was my bright idea to get paid in installments. Argh!

"What?"

There was a voice from my right.

Why the hell was this happening to me tonight?

I had a bad feeling about this pattern.

"Yes?" I turned around like a clock hand. 

"No, you were just agonizing over something like this and-" Apparently it was the girl with wings- Rose.

She actually looked pretty nice. She was wearing a white sweater and black jeans. 

"Oh, ah-" How the hell was I supposed to make up excuses that I didn\'t actually have money?

I tried to formulate something but-

"I can lend you some-" Rose\'s words came out of nowhere. 

"You can read minds?" that was the only logical explanation. 

"Just overly loud thoughts."

Holy, mother of-

I cleared my throat inside my head. I had no idea how that worked. "I-I see." It was too much to take it. So all those curses I had for her… oh my god… holy… oh my good- god! 

"Calm down? I\'m not one to hold grudges. Besides, everybody at least has some opinion about me they can\'t say out loud. At least you\'re honest." She chuckled. "As I said, I can buy you that."

"I\'ll feel too bad-" seriously, how could I just borrow money from someone who I belittled in my mind for who knows how many times. 

"It\'s okay. You\'re my junior after all." She smiled. 

She still picked up the bottle from my hand and we both went to the counter. 

In the end, she bought me that and I felt indebted to her, forever. "I think I can pay you back next week." I was definitely going to pay her first thing. 

This kind of happened instantaneously and I couldn\'t stop it. 

"Oh don\'t worry about it. You can pay me back by making sure your uncle doesn\'t screw up too. I have my hands full with the rest."

Well, I guess she had her job to consider too: no wonder she was being nice. It still worked out fine for me. "I will and I\'ll pay you back next week."

I couldn\'t make a single promise about my uncle. He just wasn\'t someone I could bet on. He was the leader of a terrorist group and I for sure knew, he was definitely going to cause at least some trouble. 

Rose smiled and waved. I waved back.

And now I had juice. I felt a bit bad though. I never liked the feeling of being indebted. 

***

So, now that I had everything, I headed for the dorm. All these bags were a bit hard to carry. I might or might not have bought too much stuff. 

Well, they were necessary though. 

"Looks heavy."

The voice came from my right. 

\'Oh my god.\' I probably called god\'s name today more than I ever called his name in my lifetime. 

But more importantly, why were girls popping out of nowhere?

"No, I kind of bought too much stuff." I tried to chuckle but it wasn\'t working. "They\'re not that heavy."

Who was the girl in front of me?

Why Eve of course.

It wasn\'t awkward. 

The conversation just this morning wasn\'t anything to be ashamed of and it certainly wasn\'t awkward. The fact that I rejected her in front of her father, wasn\'t awkward at all!

Eve was smiling. "Well, I can carry some for you."

"No, it\'s okay."

Yeah, it definitely wasn\'t awkward. I repeat, not awkward at all

I so wanted to run away right now, though. 

\'Someone save me!\'

But unfortunately, I didn\'t know that someone. 

Eve giggled seeing my helplessness. "You don\'t have to feel anything about this. My father was just trying his usual recruit scams. I don\'t hold anything against you. And hopefully, we can continue to be friends." She smiled. 

Well, at least she was being frank. I still knew she was trying her best, but- I was glad she was willing to let bygones be bygones. 

"Of course!"

She smiled, waved, and left. 

I also smiled and walked fast, before I got approached by another girl.