I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

He touched something on the handle of the hilt and it opened up. There was a tiny piece of blue core inside. And it was definitely tinier than my shards. 

"Isn\'t that a bit too small? And it was just a blue one?" Honestly, I was disappointed a little if nothing else. 

"Hah! You think I\'d give you an expensive core for free? And trust me, I\'ll wring every penny out of you. Your old man made me work harder than necessary but never paid me. But you, you will pay me!"

Unfortunately, that was my gramps not father.  "Fine, you can have a shard, now shut up." So much for the club covering the expenses. 

I didn\'t mind though. I was a miser, but I still had to acknowledge his skills. This guy was the right deal. 

He clicked his tongue but grinned. "Wise choice. You\'ve got brains like your father, brawns like your grandfather, not a bad combination."

His attitude sure wasn\'t making me feel good though. "So, how long will this take?"

"Why would it take long?" He just slid a piece of the shard in there and the socket readjusted itself. "That\'s it. The next time you find something good, just chuck in here. The process is automatic and the system will adjust automatically." He proceeded to throw the scythe at me, knowing I wouldn\'t be able to catch it. 

I still caught it, but my hands sure were dying.                   

  I tried to put it back on the waist. 

"You\'re not going to turn it on?"

I really wanted to leave now. "Sure." It hurt more than enough, just to lift it, but there wasn\'t any choice I guess.  I tried and instead of a scythe this thing literally formed a trident. "Oh, man! Why can\'t I get a sword?" But when I said that, this thing hissed and turned into a literal broadsword, at least two times wider than the previous one. "Oops!" I almost cut the man in half, if he hadn\'t jumped to his left at the last time. 

"Watch it, moron!" He was shook if nothing else. "Thought I was going to die!"

I chuckled. "Anyway, you get one piece. One went into the scythe, I\'ll take the other. So put it in my pocket."

He clicked his tongue again. "If it was someone else, I\'d have charged all three shards just for the refinement. But for you kid, I\'ll just keep it at two." His grin wasn\'t convincing anyone. 

"Just give me the freaking shard. You can keep the blue one."

"The blue one was mine, to begin with!"

"I don\'t care. I\'m broke and need the money. Be grateful that I\'m even willing to give you one piece!"

He sighed and looked at me with dull eyes. "I should have known. You\'re his spitting image. Maybe a bit less ugly." He proceeded to literally spit on the floor. 

I didn\'t know what this guy was blabbering about but as long as I could get my shard back, I didn\'t care. 

He did give it back though. But last like the saber, he threw the shard too. I guess I might have stepped on too many of his nerves. He didn\'t even turn towards me anymore. 

"Let\'s go!" I slipped the shard back in. Just moving my hands was a pain.

Johnathan was busy eating. "Mmh, sure."  He was done fairly quick. 

The woman however was breathing heavily and sweating. "Oh, such wondrous hair." She glared at my hair with drools. She sniffed the hair between her fingers and looked more than just exhilarated. 

  I regretted my life decisions all over again. 

But as me and Johnathan were about to go out, I turned to the old man. "Thanks. I really mean that." He really did help me out big time after all. 

He looked back at me and smiled. "Anytime kid. Just next time, bring some nice presents or something." 

I grinned. "You\'ve got yourself a deal."

***

"For a second I thought you\'d have attacked the boss. But I must commend you for your patience."

"You\'re saying that now?" I snorted. "It\'s not about patience. I\'m just avoiding trouble. I\'ve got a lot on my plate right now."

Johnathan hadn\'t said anything till now. But now, he was acting all chummy again. 

He chuckled. "Fair enough."

The two of us went for the lift but again, it was going down. Just how many people used this damn thing?

I sighed. "Got anything other than stairs that can go faster than this?"

"I mean, we could always jump."

"I\'ll pass. I don\'t want to break my bones." Come to think of it, I might not have broken my bones this time around. I sure didn\'t want to take the risk though. 

But flying around did sound rather awesome. 

"You said she was your crush, right?"

I gave the guy a glance. "What\'s up with you?" We were still waiting for the elevator to come back up. "You\'ve been acting rather funny."

"I want you to save her."

"Save her? From what, her mother?"

Johnathan closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes."

"It\'s a family thing man. I don\'t think I should get in their way just because I knew her from grade school. Besides, I don\'t think she and I are compatible." And more importantly, I had a girl in mind already. 

"That\'s not what I meant." Johnathan let out a long sigh. "She\'s trapped here and they, her mother is using her. The girl\'s justice is solid but that\'s why her mother does that to her at times and she can\'t even protest. Her mother makes her use her powers for things you can\'t even imagine. You saw what happened right?"

\'Yeah, trust me, I don\'t wanna imagine in the first place.\'

When we\'d gone in, I saw the girl on the floor, she was scared and she leaked from various places. I guess I could understand the point Johnathan was trying to make. But even so, I didn\'t want more trouble. "You do under-"

"I do. I understand. But if this keeps up, she\'ll break. You liked her once, you can like her again. Your family can back you up. A few days ago, she almost tried to kill herself. She was my childhood friend, I don\'t want to see her die." For the first time ever, Johnathan had conviction in his eyes. And he was utterly serious. 

But somehow I got the feeling, he had more feelings than just being friends. There were ulterior motives to this. 

And that girl committing suicide? Didn\'t seem likely.

"Well, I\'ll think about it." It was just my way of humbly backing out. I had better things to worry about now, anyway. 

He didn\'t say anything and just grinned. 

It took the elevator another good twenty minutes before it finally came up, and as we got in, it went to the hundredth floor for some reason. 

I kind of got the impression this wouldn\'t have ended the way I wanted. 

We reached the hundredth floor, three people got in. I kind of knew all three. One bunny, and the old couple. 

I was right. 

Johnathan grinned and I could see it all over his face. Every single thing was staged. 

***

With all the people in, the elevator slowly went down. 

"I must thank you, young man. If it weren\'t for your deduction, we\'d have been-" The geezer held my hands, they were both in tears. My hands were in a lot of pain. I really, really had to try my best not to turn the couple into dust. "We\'re very happy with you. This is our granddaughter. We\'d be very happy if you two could get married."

And they were a lot less sensible than I thought too. Did people really get wise as they aged?

After seeing this couple, probably not. 

Yeah, I kind of saw this coming from a long way. The moment Johnathan started giggling, everything was already clear.  "So everything was set up? The elevator and all that too?"

The couple was in dire shock and they had their jaws hanging. 

\'Don\'t act like that morons. What did you think I was dumb or something?\'

Judging by their shocks, they probably thought I\'d go crazy over their granddaughter and forget about everything. Unfortunately, I wasn\'t that type. 

Johnathan just giggled. "The elevator wasn\'t actually supposed to fall though. But these two, kind of got so scared of you that they pushed a bit too hard on me and as a result, things happened."

No wonder they were so calm back then but acted like wusses when they saw me with my scythe. And now I could understand why I wasn\'t faulted one bit when I walked out of the debris. "So, the wetting was also a play?"

The bunny girl in question looked away. "Ye-yes, definitely."

Yeah, I definitely wasn\'t buying any of this. 

"Please." The old guy grabbed onto my shoulder. "Please, take her away. If she stays here-"

"I already have plans with another girl. I don\'t think-"

"Take her as your mistress." The granny placed a hand on my shoulder too." A young man like you must have insatiable desires."

Yeah, I didn\'t want to hear that from a granny who already had one foot in the grave. 

"Anyway," I turned to the bunny girl. "What about you? What do you want?"

"I\'m fine with being your mistress." 

Just three days ago this girl tried to kill me and now she wanted to be my mistress? Life was weird if nothing else. 

Johnathan smiled but something was wrong with that. 

"What about this guy. Do you like him?" I pointed at Johnathan. I was just making a gamble, but I had a feeling there was more to these two. 

"Huh?"

"Wha?"

The two looked at me with more than just surprises. Judging by the reactions? There was no doubt about it. 

I grinned. "Then there\'s no need for me. Just get out of here together. I\'ll give you my protection." Basically, I was just dumping all the responsibility on Johnathan. 

"No- that\'s" The girl stuttered. She was unsure. 

"You really mean it!" Well, Johnathan was game. All this time he acted pretty well. But even he couldn\'t resist the temptation. 

I gave a glance behind me and the old couple didn\'t really care all that much. They just wanted their grandkid away from here. 

"Yeah. So what do you say?"

The bunny girl nodded a bit shyly while Johnathan just shook his head vigorously. Both were in. 

\'Perfect!" I grinned. 

And so, I escaped from an almost binding prison. Only moments later to realize, I\'d made one hell of a mistake. 

"Oh shit." As the elevator door opened, so did my mouth, gaping wide.