Spending My Retirement In A Game

"Of course it is! The more extreme we go, the better!" Evalia said with a grin, before Stahl scratched the back of his head and sighed deeply. "I guess... Although I don’t understand why we went from me speaking in a weird accent to someone at a stall to THIS..." He replied, and Evalia just smiled at him before stepping up to his side, locking arms with him.

While Stahl was wearing such a suit, Evalia created a big pink, flashy dress for herself. She wasn’t wearing the mask anymore, but even then, it should be possible to hide herself quite well, because he doubted players would expect her to walk around in such a flashy outfit. And even Stahl was surprised how different she looked, so it was a quite high-quality Disguise, especially with the small mole she put right above her lip, her pink hair to match Stahl’s, and the small decorated umbrella that she could hide her face with if she needed to, which she created by simply adding some of her magic paint to an old ripped up umbrella she found.

"Don’t worry, Honey, we’ll have a grand time quite soon." Evalia said with a smile, her accent completely switching from southern to cliché high-class british. "Of course, Dear..." Stahl said with a smile as he slipped into his role, trying to remember to properly speak like a noble would, even if he couldn’t fake such a convincing accent.

And so, Stahl and Evalia stepped into the store in front of them. The auction-house. As they were currently in a Merchant-Town, the Auction house seemed more like a small skyscraper than a normal building. The bottom floors were completely packed with people, and that of course also included some players.

And it was actually quite easy to differentiate between players and NPCs in this scenario, because, as they passed through the crowd in a dignified manner, the NPCs immediately made way, while the players simply kept standing where they were, only turning around a little to see what kind of ’Event’ this was.

"Honey, let us move to the higher floors. I feel uncomfortable with all these stares." Evalia explained, before Stahl nodded his head with a stern expression while looking at mostly the players, who were the only ones that were really staring at him and Evalia. Most of the NPCs tried to just look away, most likely because nobility wasn’t exactly known to be kind, and they didn’t want to attract the attention of people that were most likely nobility, or at least extremely rich people, judging from their demeanor, speech, and clothing.

"Yes, My Dear. Out of the way, rats." Stahl exclaimed with a scowl, as if he was looking at pure trash when he stared at the Players, which really didn’t help the image that nobility already had. With obvious annoyance on their faces, the players moved out of the way, although one of them seemed to think that this situation was worthy of a different reaction, because he deliberately moved to stand in front of Stahl and Evalia out of spite.

"Honey, I think one of the rats has a hearing problem." Evalia said with a disgusted expression outwardly, although she was grinning inwardly. A conflict was the easiest situation to level the Acting skill up in, after all. And as Stahl was told to make such a conflict rise up further due to that exact reason, he started wearing a similar expression to Evalia, although he mixed in some anger into his face.

"It sure does seem so, my Dear. Rat, do you have hearing problems? We know a quite proficient Veterenarian in the area. Or a butcher, if you prefer to have us make you visit them." Stahl said in a mocking tone, before the Player simply became even more annoyed. And that was when Stahl noticed something interesting. His pupils were glowing red, which meant that he was an Alpha, as only they had the permission, or rather ability, to record videos or stream at the moment.

"How peculiar, my dear. It seems this little rat is one of those rabid Artificials we have heard so much about." Stahl said with a surprised expression, turning it toward excitement for a certain reason that Evalia caught onto quite swiftly.

"Oh how nice, Honey! So this rat does have some worth after all!"

"It sure does seem so. Artificial Rat, may you be interested in being our servant? We are currently in need for a Jester!" Stahl exclaimed, before Evalia nodded her head with an ecstatic expression, like a young child at a zoo, although she still somehow kept up that dignified and elevated exterior, before the Player unsheathed the sword by his side and pointed it toward Stahl and Evalia, saying four short words.

"Vote. Kill or Spare." He muttered with a quite blank expression, and basically everyone beside the players that were aware he was currently streaming began to look around confused, before the Player began to count down.

"10. 9. 8." He said in a one second tact, while Stahl and Evalia looked at each other confused, although quite dedicated to keep up the act.

"How wonderful, Honey! The rat can count!" She exclaimed, before Stahl nodded his head with a birght smile. "Truly magnificent! Magnificent, I say! He may be worth more than expected, Dear." Stahl answered, all the whilst the player continued counting, unimpressed.

"3. 2. 1." He finished, before looking away for a second and then grinning like a maniac. "Good choice." The player said with a deep voice, before slowly stepping forward toward Evalia and Stahl, both of which knowing what just happened. The Player asked the viewers of his stream whether he should ’kill or spare’ them, and the viewers most likely voted for the former. Of course, the numerous guards that were in the room also noticed that something was going on, but it didn’t seem like the player cared in the slightest. And he was far closer to Stahl and Evalia than the Guards, so nobody could do much against the inevitable swing that came next.

Just that, before the blade reached either Evalia or Stahl, the latter had used his combat skills in combination with dancing, and swiftly evaded the blow, and Evalia quite clearly was able to do the same, although she simply stepped to the side, while Stahl stepped behind the Player. They didn’t necessarily expect such an outcome, but it wasn’t like they were helpless either.

The player was most likely higher-level than Stahl, but Evalia was at around level 90 at the moment, and Stahl had stats far higher than normal for his level, considering that he had so many different skills. And the synergy between those skills worked wonders as well, as Stahl was just able to show.

"Oh Deary me, I’m afraid this rat is far too wild wild. I’m sorry, my Dear, I doubt we can take it home with us after all." Stahl said with a bitter smile as he held his hand to his chest, while everyone else was trying to figure out what was going on.

"How regretful. Well, Honey, I’m sure you know what you should do now, don’t you?" Evalia asked with her hands folded up and placed against her chin with a bright smile, and Stahl nodded his head immediately. "Of course I do, my Dear." Stahl responded, although he was rather unsure if he would really be able to overwhelm this player. Sure, he trained with Brody, but only for a day! So he wasn’t actually that proficient at anything in particular.

But the fact that he was able to use a lot of things at least a little bit in numerous ways was actually exactly what ended up helping him this time around, because he was able to improvise quite well. And as the Player turned around to take another swing at him, Stahl took off his top-hat and slammed it right into his face while winking at Evalia, who snapped her fingers and caused it to ’melt’ and cover his eyes.

While the player was trying to get this weird thing off of his face and flailed his sword around wildly while he was at it, Stahl simply took a step back out of range of said sword and leasurely returned to the back of the player, where Stahl held his arms behind his back and acted with a swift kick into the back of the knee to the player’s leg, causing him to stumble forward. And while the player was trying to figure out what exactly happened, Stahl moved his hand in front of the player’s stomach and swiftly opened up a certain latch, before pulling away his hand to swiftly steal the player’s belt.

As the beginner’s clothes fit absolutely perfectly anyway and the belt was just there to attach different things to, the pants didn’t end up dropping down, but two things did change.

One, Stahl had now learned the ’Pickpocket’ skill, and two, he now had a weapon comparable to a short whip with a metal bit at the end. With a few circular motions, Stahl swung the belt around his arm to hide it for a moment while the player managed to stand back up and finally removed the ’molten’ top hat from his eyes, before he turned to Stahl with an angry expression. It did seem like he didn’t notice that he had something stolen from him, which Stahl didn’t mind in the least.

Because now that the player swung his sword down again, Stahl pulled his arm from his back and moved the belt to have it swing around the player’s arm, before violently pulling on it, causing the Player to lose balance and once more trip over, now directly into Stahl’s direction. Now that Stahl at least managed to get something to stick to the player, he tightly grabbed the end of the belt he was holding already, before then once more moving to the side and grabbing the other end of the belt just as tightly, letting him basically control the arm of the player.

And after pulling the belt around the front of the player’s neck, he simply pulled on the belt and had the arm of the player move to a position where he had his elbow directly in front of his adam’s apple, while Stahl pushed the Player’s hand to change position and have the blade pressed directly against the back of his neck. And now, to finish the job, Stahl tied the end of the belt around the sword a few times, then pulled it to the front, and simply closed the belt again.

At this point, when the player even tried moving his arm, he would end up cutting himself in the back of his neck, which he surely wanted to avoid. And while now not only the NPCs and other players, but also Evalia and even the Guards were looking at Stahl in confusion at what just happened, Stahl stepped in front of the player with the end of the belt still in his hand, so that he basically just needed to pull on it to have the Player kill himself with his own blade.

With a light smile on his face and his head slightly tilted to the side, Stahl moved his fingers through his own pink hair and then leaned in toward the player, whispering the sentence that would most likely infuriate any immature, already angry gamer into his ear.

"Get Rekt, Noob."