How To Survive as a Villain

Xiao YuAn replied with a smile: “They’re beautiful!”

The man said triumphantly. “They were made by my store! I’m not trying to boast, but my family’s craftsmanship has been handed down for five generations. We used to be the Imperial Tailor in the former Dynasty, our salary was that of an Official, and we even had our own Embroidery Room in the Imperial Palace!”

Xiao YuAn has always had a supportive temperament, so when he spoke, praising words came out of his mouth: “Xiao-xiongdi¹ has such a famous background, huh? Wouldn’t it be a great honor if I were to get married using the wedding clothes from your shop?”

“Haha, regardless of honor, our family’s craftsmanship and materials are indeed the second best in this Imperial City, so no one dares to say that they are the first.” The man crossed his arms, feeling so refreshed by the compliment that he found the pretty young man in front of him very pleasing to the eye. As he reached out to pat him on the shoulder, he said: “Gongzi, I think that destiny has brought us together. When you get married, if you’re willing to come to my shop to make wedding clothes, I’ll bargain for you!”

As the man patted him, the second time failed to land on Xiao YuAn’s shoulder, because his wrist was suddenly held.

The man was stunned. As he raised his eyes, he saw a man dressed in black clothes with a face as beautiful as jade and eyes that shone like stars. That black clothed man had an extraordinary appearance.

Yan HeQing camly took the young man’s hand away, and asked indifferently: “Where’s your store?”

The young man was brimming with enthusiasm: “It’s at the entrance of the East Street! Go straight from here, turn a corner, and you’ll be there!”

Yan HeQing nodded, pulled Xiao YuAn, who was still watching the wedding procession, and walked forward.

Xiao YuAn was confused: “Yan-ge, where are we going?”

After seeing that Yan HeQing was silent, Xiao YuAn also stopped asking questions, and obediently followed him.

Yan HeQing dragged Xiao YuAn to the store that the young man had just mentioned. This shop was indeed different from the ordinary shops. At first glance, it looked more like a mansion, with dyeing, fabric, and embroidery workshops. When a man saw two outstanding Gongzi walking in, he quickly welcomed them with a smile: “Are these two Gongzi here to buy cloth or to make clothes?”

Yan HeQing replied: “To make wedding clothes.”

Xiao YuAn was struck by lightning for a moment, standing frozen in place, and staring at Yan HeQing with round eyes.

The man said. “You may not know, but our wedding clothes are all made by the shopkeeper himself. Only Princes and Nobles can afford to hire our shopkeeper. I can see that these Gongzi have extraordinary manners, so they shouldn’t be ordinary people. Why don’t you two sit in the shop for a while, I’ll go ask our boss to see if he’s willing to meet you two.” The man was very polite as he welcomed Yan HeQing and Xiao YuAn into the shop, then rushed to report.

Only then did Xiao YuAn recover from the shock: “Yan, Yan-ge? Wedding clothes?”

Yan HeQing replied unhurriedly: “I saw you say that you liked it.”

Xiao YuAn said with difficulty: “Even if i like it, wedding clothes aren’t made to be worn normally. Besides….”

Xiao YuAn’s voice stopped abruptly as he seemed to react to the hidden meaning, and suddenly looked at Yan HeQing. The eagerness in his eyes almost made his eyes pop out.

Yan HeQing stared back at him, and said calmly: “Xiao YuAn, I want to marry you. I want to worship² with you when we get married. I want to announce it to the whole world. Xiao YuAn, do you want to marry me?”

Xiao YuAn: “But the Southern Yan Kingdom is now-….”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“But they-….”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“They-…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Right after those words were said, Yan HeQing asked again: “Xiao YuAn, do you want to marry me?”

Xiao YuAn nodded, and replied: “Yes.”

Yan HeQing’s eyes brightened for a moment, like the bright moonlight that suddenly appeared in the dark sky.

It’s too painful to be tangled up in knots, and it’s too tiresome to have a thousand thoughts. Instead, it’s better to exchange those 6 words without any harm in them, with a single wishful word.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps came from outside the door, and a middle-aged man walked in. At first, the man was still holding a shelf and touching his moustache. But when he raised his head, after seeing Yan HeQing, he suddenly let out a very high scream, and knelt down: “Your Majesty!!!”

Yan HeQing and Xiao YuAn looked at each other, and Xiao YuAn asked: “How can you recognize the Emperor?”

The shopkeeper trembled like a sieve chaff: “A-an-answering to this master, I had the privilege to see the portrait of His Majesty in the past. That portrait was painted so lifelike, showing His Majesty’s handsome and unrestrained³; outstanding and elegant⁴; tall and mighty⁵; distinguished and brilliant⁶; a god-like, refreshing and charming⁷ appearance! So I was very impressed!”

‘Shopkeeper, is your Official title: “Idiom Dictionary”?’

Xiao YuAn stretched out his hand to pull up the shopkeeper. While shaking his head, he said: “It seems that the portrait wasn’t too good. His Majesty’s long jade-like body’s handsomeness and elegance⁸; unparalleled and otherworldly⁹ beauty¹⁰; magnifficient attractiveness and gracefulness¹¹, weren’t painted.”

The shopkeeper was shocked. He thought that he had perfected the skills of flattery, but he didn’t expect that there would be mountains outside the mountains, and people outside the people¹²!

Xiao YuAn, who didn’t know that his true feelings were recognized as flattery, smiled and asked: “Boss, how long will it take for you to get the wedding clothes ready?”

“Half a month… No! As long as I have the size, His Majesty can give humble me seven days! Humble me can make it in seven days!” The shopkeeper patted his chest, and swore an oath.

“Then hurry up and mesure me.” Xiao YuAn opened his hands, and moved forward.

The shopkeeper widened his small eyes: “This master, you, you, you?”

“Don’t ‘you’ me. We want two sets of wedding clothes. One set for me, and one set for His Majesty.” Xiao YuAn replied with a smile.

The shopkeeper hurriedly looked at Yan HeQing. When he saw him nodding his head, the shopkeeper was instantly dumbfounded, frozen in place. It took him a full three seconds to regain his senses.

The shopkeeper was a wise man. The first thing he did after coming back to his senses, was to carefully ask Xiao YuAn: “Then, young man, I dare to ask, do you want your wedding clothes to have a skirt…. or pants…..”

Xiao YuAn: “…. Pa-pants, alright?”

The shopkeeper replied: “Understood!”

The bottom of Yan HeQing’s eyes filled with disappointment in the blink of an eye.

This chapter is the literal definition of “The calm before the storm” (∩´﹏`∩)

I bet YHQ’s face while the shopkeeper praised him was like this (´∩｀。) but once XYA started to praise him, YHQ’s face turned into (*˘︶˘*)

Footnotes

1. 小兄弟 xiǎo xiōng dì
   ; This “Xiao” refers to “young”, so this can be translated as “Young Brother”. It’s an endearing address to a young male.
2. 拜堂 bài táng; A ritual of kneeling to Heaven and Earth done by the Bride and the Groom in a old-fashioned wedding ceremony.
3. 英俊潇洒 yīng jùn xiāo sǎ; Chinese idiom, generally used to describe a man’s outstanding talent, extraordinary appearance, natural generosity, and unrestrained charm. From《新书·道术》by (贾谊 jiǎ yì) Jia Yi [200-168 BC], a poet from the Han Dynasty [206 BC-220 AD].
4. 风流倜傥 fēng liú tì tǎng; Chinese idiom, it refers to a person who is talented and unrestrained by etiquette and law / someone who’s talented in letters, and unconventional in life. From《节侠记》by (许三阶 xǔ sān jiē) Xu Sanjie, from the Ming Dynasty [1368-1644].
5. 高大威猛 gāo dà wēi měng; Chinese idiom, mostly used to describe the appearance of a man who is strong, brave, and has a high authority.
6. 风度翩翩 fēng dù piān piān; Chinese idiom, used to describe a spontaneous demeanor and an extraordinary temperament. From《史记·平原君列传》by (司马迁sī mǎ qiān) Sim Qian [145-86 BC], an historian from the Western Han Dynasty [206 BC-8 AD].
7. 爽俊 shuǎng jùn; Chinese idiom, it means bold and handsome, with the additional meaning of bright and elegant. From《三国志》by (陈寿 chén shòu) Chen Shou [233-297], from the Western Jin Dynasty [265-316].
8. 俊逸 jùn yì; It means handsome and extraordinary / Very attractive and smart / A distinguished man / A person who is beyond ordinary. From《自序》by (刘劭 liú shào) Liu Shao, from the Three Kingdoms Period [220-280], Wei Dynasty [221-265].
9. 超凡脱俗 chāo fán tuō sú; Chinese idiom, it refers to someone who is beyond the norm / out of the ordinary / free from the mundane, not tainted with vulgarity / supreme and refined. From《我与文史掌故·集札》by (郑逸梅 zhèng yì méi) Zheng Yimei [1895-1992].
10. 清秀 qīng xiù; It means refreshingly unique / beautifully unpretentious. It describes a more refined and delicate kind of feeling.
11. 玉树临风 yù shù lín fēng; Chinese idiom, used to describe a person who is very dashing and beautiful like a jade tree, mostly referring to men. From《饮中八仙歌》by (杜甫 dù fǔ) Du Fu [712-770], a poet from the Tang Dynasty [618-907].
12. 山外有山，人外有人 shān wài yǒu shān，rén wài yǒu rén; It means that even though you’re good at something, there will always be others who are better than you. It’s used to advise people to not be arrogant, and to be more humble.