How To Survive as a Villain

“The road! The road! Look at the road!” Xiao YuAn was so frightened, that he broke away from Yan HeQing’s grasp and hurriedly turned his head back.

“It’s alright, the speed is not fast, and the road is even.” Yan HeQing said softly, but he didn’t force Xiao YuAn to turn his head towards him again. Instead, he put the object in his hand on Xiao YuAn’s face.

Xiao YuAn was stunned and the reins in his hands were taken once again by Yan HeQing. Since he was no longer being hugged, Xiao YuAn reached out and took the thing off his face, holding it up in front of his eyes and examined it.

It was a half-face mask, its decoration was simple, and it had some winding patterns carved on the mask. This mask was long enough to cover most of Xiao YuAn’s face, only revealing his chin and lips. The mask looked like a toy, just like the ones that were sold in the market, but the workmanship was in fact quite exquisite.

“Hmm? Is this a gift for me?” Xiao YuAn fiddled with the mask, repeatedly taking it off and putting it on again.

“This time, for the Southern Yan expedition to the Eastern Wu Kingdom, my uncle is in the North consolidating the strength of the Southern Yan Kingdom, so he didn’t come here. However, I’m not sure if there will be any Southern Yan Generals who will recognize your face, so…”

Before Yan HeQing could stop talking, Xiao YuAn interrupted him with a smile: “I understand, I know. It’s better to avoid unnecessary trouble”

The horse ran across the flat road until it came to a relatively rugged path. Since the horse’s pace also became bumpy, Yan HeQing tightened his hold to firmly protect Xiao YuAn, who was sitting in front of his body: “If you feel uncomfortable wearing the mask, you don’t need to use it. I will never let anyone hurt you again.”

“No, I quite like it, thank you.” Xiao YuAn put the mask on, adjusted it to a comfortable position, and turned his head to show Yan HeQing.

Yan HeQing said: “Don’t turn your head.”

“Huh?” Xiao YuAn’s head was only turned halfway when he heard that, so he hurriedly turned back to look at the road ahead: “What’s wrong?”

Yan HeQing replied: “I won’t be able to restrain myself from kissing you.”

Xiao YuAn: “…… Oh, I see, alright, fine, fine.”

After a long while in silence, Xiao YuAn asked: “Yan-ge, have you ever considered writing a book?”

“What book?”

“3000 Quotes From The New President.”

“……. What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Well, um… It seems that I suddenly feel like singing again! Can Yan-ge make the horse run faster?”

Yan HeQing’s legs hit the horse’s belly, suddenly raising the whip. The horse raised his head and neighed, followed by the horse running even faster than before.

Xiao YuAn cleared his throat and began to sing: “Let’s live in harmony with each other in the world~, galloping our horses and sharing the prosperity of the world~, celebrating the joy of our hearts with wine~. Let’s live our youth to the fullest~¹!”

Then, Xiao YuAn was tossed up and down by the rugged mountain road, which made him feel nauseous. Before, he was happily singing, but now, he thought that if he kept on signing, he would most likely throw up.

…

A few days later, the Southern Yan barracks spread the great news that the Emperor has returned safe and sound, and that the barracks will have a Physician, whose surname was Xiao.

The journey was long and tiring, but right after Yan HeQing returned to the army, he began to rectify the army’s morale without rest. Moreover, he was so busy that his feet couldn’t even touch the ground².

Xiao YuAn wasn’t idle either. Although recently, there weren’t any battles against the Eastern Wu Kingdom, the army camp was full of injured, sick and disabled soldiers.

So, on the first day of arriving at the barracks, right after dismounting, Yan HeQing and Xiao YuAn never saw each other again. While Xiao YuAn was busy inside a tent bandaging and helping the soldiers dress until midnight, he suddenly heard the sound of footsteps approaching the tent.

“Physician Xiao, Physician Xiao.” Deputy General Chen poked his head from outside the tent and cried: “Eh? Physician Xiao, why are you wearing a mask?”

Xiao YuAn was holding medicine in one hand, a basin in the other, and a roll of gauze was in his mouth, so he didn’t have the time to pay attention to him. After waving the things in his hands, he continued to treat the wounded soldiers in front of him.

Chen Ge³ came over scratching his head and asked: “Do you need any help, Physician Xiao?”

Xiao YuAn put the gauze cloth in his hand and pointed at an injured soldier’s wound: “Tie it! Tie it tightly and stop the bleeding.”

“Oh, alright.” Chen Ge hurriedly complied with his instructions, and after a long time passed, Chen Ge wiped his sweat and said: “This work is so hard. Before, I heard the rumor that there’s a skilled female Physician in the Eastern town, but I don’t know if the Generals can ask her to come. If they can invite her over, your work should get easier, right?”

Xiao YuAn, who was also extremely tired, sat on the ground, breathlessly picking up the bloody cotton cloth. When he heard Chen Ge’s words, he asked: “Is that female Physician named Bai Zhi?”

Chen Ge was surprised: “Yes, exactly! How does Physician Xiao know that?”

“She won’t come.” Xiao YuAn finished picking up the cotton cloth and started to wipe the dried blood on his hands.

“Ah? Why does Physician Xiao think so?” Chen Ge didn’t understand.

‘Because she was part of your Emperor’s harem!’

‘Now that your Emperor is gay, why would a woman come all the way to this army camp to suffer from the hardships of war?!’

Asdfghj this time XYA won’t try to matchmake YHQ with other harem member because now he KNOWS YHQ has feelings for him!! Yay for this improvement!!!!

Footnotes

1. 《当》(dāng), “When”, it’s a song sung by the rock group 动力火车 (dòng lì huǒ chē) or ‘Power Station’, and was one of the songs of the first part of the 1998 TV series《还珠格格》(huán zhū gé ge), “My Fair Princess”.
2. 脚不沾地 jiǎo bù zhān dì; It’s a Chinese idiom, it means to walk very fast, as if one’s feet aren’t touching the ground. From《红楼梦》(hóng lóu mèng), “Dream of the Red Chamber”, wrote by (曹雪芹 cáo xuě qín) Cao Xueqin [1715-1764], from the Qing Dynasty [1644-1911].
3. 陈歌 chén gē; This 歌 gē (song/to sing) character is different from 哥 gē (brother). So this isn’t “Brother Chen”, the Ge here is Deputy General Chen’s name.