How To Survive as a Villain

“Huh? Baizhu? You and Shenling are newlyweds, why are you here so early in the morning?” Third Aunt, while holding still the broom, looked at him puzzled.

Zhang Baizhu was breathless from running, and with his hands on his knees, he asked: “Where’s Xiao YuAn?!”

“YuAn and Yan-gongzi went to buy rice and noodles.” Third Aunt replied.

“Oh.” Zhang Baizhu patted his thigh.

“What’s wrong? Young man, if you have something to say, then hurry up and speak.” Third Aunt instructed, waving her hand at him.

“There are some foreigners that came looking for Yan-gongzi, and I wondered if they came for a debtor’s vendetta or something, so I came to warn them.” Zhang Baizhu said.

“Oh, oh?” Third Aunt opened her eyes wide. “How many men? Do they look fierce?”

“They’re five or six, they look fierce, but they don’t act fierce. They’re asking for him nicely, but if you think about it, when Xiao YuAn picked up Yan-gongzi, he was covered in bruises and he found him in the mountain stream! He must have done something, or offended someone!” Zhang Baizhu’s analysis was reasonable.

“Oh Heavens, what can we do?” Third Aunt was so anxious, that she moved around.

“Third Aunt, quickly tell me where they’ve gone to buy rice and noodles. I’ll go look for them.” Zhang Baizhu said.

However, as soon as he stopped talking, there was a knock at the door: “Is anyone here?”

“Oh Heavens! Why didn’t you ask me sooner?!!!” Third Aunt shouted softly. Then she threw the broom to the side and slapped her thighs, walking towards the main door, wondering whether she should open it or not.

“Third Aunt, Third Aunt, don’t worry. It just so happens that Yan-gongzi is not here right now, so don’t worry and just boldly drive them away.” Zhang Baizhu whispered.

Third Aunt thought to herself: ‘I’m sure you’re right, but I’m busy suppressing the fear.’ In the end, she steadily opened the door, and there was only one man dressed in black standing at the residence’s entrance. It seemed that the group of men were in a hurry, so they split up to look for Yan HeQing.

The man looked fierce, but his attitude was gentle. He handed the portrait to Third Aunt and said: “Excuse me madam, have you seen the man in this portrait?”

“I’ve never seen him.” Third Aunt glanced at the portrait and hurriedly waved her hand repeatedly.

“Don’t be anxious madam, take a closer look.” That man dressed in black unrelentingly waved the portrait in front of Third Aunt.

“Aiya, I really haven’t seen him before.” Third Aunt was afraid that she would reveal herself and panicked, trying to close the door.

“Madam, take one more look at the portrait, just one more look.” The man took a step forward and jammed the door frame.

“What are you looking at? I want to look too.” Suddenly, a head came in between the two of them, which made everyone freeze in place.

Xiao YuAn, while holding a bag of rice, looked at the portrait in the hands of the man dressed in black and shouted behind him in surprise: “Yan-ge! You’re in this portrait!”

Zhang Baizhu, who had watched everything, slapped his forehead.

Third Aunt was too stunned, and quickly shouted: “Yan-gongzi, run, run!”

The man dressed in black reacted faster. He put away the portrait scroll, turned around and went straight to Yan HeQing, only to kneel down in front of him under the eyes of everyone present.

Zhang Baizhu: “What?!”

Third Aunt: “Ah?”

Xiao YuAn: “Huh?”

The man dressed in black wailed: “Your Majesty!!! Weichen has finally found you!!! Ooooh!!!! It’s great that His Majesty is alright! Whoaa!”

The man was crying like a roaring bear.

Yan HeQing barely recognized his face, which was distorted to the point of looking twisted and shapeless: “Deputy General Chen?”

“Aaahhhh Your Majesty!” Deputy General Cheng howled out again very loudly.

Zhang Baizhu, in disbelief, stepped forward and pinched Xiao YuAn: “His Imperial Majesty? What Imperial Majesty? What the hell? Who is he? Who are you?”

Xiao YuAn broke off his hand and solemnly explained: “Yan-ge’s original name is Huangshang¹, yes yes yes, Yan Huangshang, don’t make a fuss about it.”

Zhang Baizhu froze, but then he continued to pinch Xiao YuAn: “Xiao YuAn, you think I’m stupid?! You’re kidding me!”

On the other side, Yan HeQing asked Deputy General Chen to get up. After standing up, Chen reported Yan HeQing the war situation, and with tears and snot running down his face, he said: “Your Majesty, let’s get out of here quickly. The Generals on the front line can’t hold on any longer. They’ve been losing the battles recently, and your whereabouts, whether you’re alive or dead, are unknown. If this continues, I’m afraid that there will be a great change in the army!”

Xiao YuAn, who was playing around with Zhang Baizhu, after hearing Chen’s words suddenly stopped and then looked up, only to find that he was facing Yan HeQing, and that he was looking at him.

YHQ has to go back to the war (´；д；`)

Footnotes

1. 皇上 huáng shang = His Majesty / Your Majesty the Emperor / His Imperial Majesty.